Tag Archives: writing

Brown Eyed Girl

Last week a man at work told me I had beautiful eyes. I was very surprised, not only was it unexpected, but I have never been told that before (mom doesn’t count). There is nothing wrong with my eyes per say, they are just plain brown eyes.

I have always wanted green eyes

Windows to our soul (and can grant life to someone like Lo Pan)

Eyes are the meeting place of countless people you interact with in your life. They can betray or reveal emotions without the need of words. They are not just a means to receive lights, colors, objects, but a doorway into the person. But honestly, if there were things I could change about myself, my eye color wouldn’t be at the top of the list, but there is something about someone’s eyes.

Have you ever stared into someone’s eyes and got to that point that you either had to look away or find yourself caught in that intimate moment, where the earth is narrowed down to a point, that point between you and that person, at that moment? That is because there is more then just the color we are seeing. While the color might grab your attention, it is the expression, the emotion, the depth behind them that is the tell of the person who possesses them.

As a parting gift to those other brown eyed girls:


Measuring Happiness

Here are a few things that stood out to me from an article from the nytimes:

If the relationship between money and well-being is complicated, the correspondence between personal relationships and happiness is not. The daily activities most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others. The daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting. According to one study, joining a group that meets even just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income.

In short, modern societies have developed vast institutions oriented around the things that are easy to count, not around the things that matter most. They have an affinity for material concerns and a primordial fear of moral and social ones.

Studies show that being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year.

People don’t compartmentalize the major aspects of their life, they bleed together and effect each other. The things that can’t be counted in monetary value, like marriage, friendship, family, hobbies have a direct link to our happiness. Even though they may be hard to measure, those activities can enrich your life and mean more then the money in your pocket.

I find it very interesting how commuting is considered the most injurious activity. I just moved and reduced my commute from 1 hour to 1/2 hour. I used to deal with it by listening to my iPod  and yelling at the other drivers when they … cut me off, drive slow in the fast lane, have their brights on, don’t use their blinker, don’t know how to drive.

So would you agree money can’t necessarily give you happiness, but personal relationships and social activities can? Would you take a happy marriage with average or low pay over $100,000 a year and  a poor marriage? If you couldn’t have dinner with your best friends, would you get depressed? Are there little things in life that you may not think mean much, but if they disappeared would leave you feeling less? What little things in your life makes you happy?

To the little things in life…

  • Reading a good book
  • To an idea that gets fully realized on my canvas
  • Sushi
  • Concerts and Plays
  • Breakfast in bed
  • Making plans and everything goes smoothly
  • A great conversation
  • Football Sunday
  • Discovering a new blogger
  • Getting my back scratched
  • Finding a great pair of heels
  • Listening to the rain

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Geography is my Achilles Heel


Yes, I will admit it. My geography knowledge is horrendous. When ever someone asks a geography question, I have a natural inclination to look away in the opposite direction. Just like when you were class and didn’t know the answer, if you just didn’t look up and get eye contact then you won’t be pointed out to answer.

I will pass the blame and say it was the educational system that failed me. How come everyone else can sing a little song and know all the capitals of the US? I wish I was able to travel like I want to travel, then I could learn first hand.

While I have done nothing to remedy my lack, I have thought about dedicating a blog post each month to teaching myself some bit of geography. Maybe after admitting this I will actually do it. And if you learn something new with me then that is just a bonus or you can just pass it by as something you already know, since your geography could not be as bad as mine.

And to make myself feel even dumber, here is a youTube video of a little girl (maybe 3 or 4 years old?) naming the capitals.

So, what do you consider to be your Achilles Heel?

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Plinky is not dead

About once a week I would visit Plinky and peruse through their prompts and answer the ones that caught my fancy. They kept their site open but their last new prompt was in April (2010). I discovered Automattic, the creators of WordPress, acquired Plinky just last week.

If you are not familiar with Plinky, it is a site that provides daily prompts, usually in the form of a question. You can answer with words, maps, playlists, pictures, you can see what others have answered and you can also have your posts automatically post onto other sites like wordpress and facebook.

WordPress believes Plinky is great for those days when you want to write, but are hitting a mental wall. Think of it as an idea generator to fuel your creative mojo.

I have almost 60 plinky posts on my blog (link). Or here are a few that I have answered.

Cooking and Fung Fu

No one knows what the next scene features

I would be excited about finding solid ground under my feet

How to explain… should I just list all my faults?

My Pursuit of Happiness

I declare my pursuit of life, liberty and most importantly happiness. There are moments when I achieve this goal, but this is a lifelong pursuit because it can disappear at any moment. It has before. Life. You plan for things to go a certain way and then life takes over. Life can lift you up and it can also kick you in the face.  Sometimes we can get so defeated that it is a choice if we want to take that next breathe. Yes. Life will pick you back up. Where has life taken me? Am I successful in life? I’ve been told I am not ambitious, and I can agree in part to that statement since I have a computer science degree which I do not use. At least I completed it, it should mean something. My mother has on several occasions said I would do great if I got a Masters in Business. I could get one and probably get a better job, but right now I don’t want to. It confuses her that I can, but I choose not to. Besides, if I did go back to school it would be for Fine Arts. Now my mother was ambitious. She started a crisis center in the Virgin Islands, she worked on Wall Street, she started her own business and she raised 6 kids. But I am not her. People might say I am not successful because of my job, nothing flashy or glamorous or high paying, but I take pride in my work and I can do it well. I’ve also meet some extremely awesome and wonderful people. It probably helps that I move every few years, which requires me to change where I work so it never becomes stale. If one day I come to realize I don’t like my job, then I hope I will just leave and find someplace that I do want to be. And how can I not be grateful for having a full time job where I don’t have to worry about being fired at any moment. In this economy where CEOs are losing their jobs and having to work at Starbucks (there is a book out there about this) or not at all, I am grateful for my steady paying job. Yes, money can be very helpful, but I don’t want a job where I make more money, but I spend so much time working instead of doing the things that make me happy. What determines success? Success could also mean having a house and kids, which I have neither. Does that make me unsuccessful? Many people are losing their homes or can’t get out because of the market or natural disasters. I am glad I am not in either of those situations. The timing and money has never been right to get a house, and there is a part of me that doesn’t want to be tied down to so much debt or having to mow a lawn, but maybe in the future when I am settled down in a city I really like. Who knows, I certainly don’t. About kids, I do want a family one day, and if it happens it would make me extremely happy. That is all I will say on that subject for now. You can be swayed by the media, by your parents, by your friends, by your coworkers, but success is determined by me. To be honest, I couldn’t say if my life is successful, but if I can enjoy the company of friends and family, if I can pay my bills, if I have a steady job where I am appreciated, if I travel, if I have a home, if I get to do my hobbies like reading and painting, if I am in a loving relationship…..If I am Happy, then I claim myself to be successful. So maybe I won’t be able to get that 80 inch flat screen TV, a shopping spree in Paris or a steak dinner every night. I can manage without them. It means more to have the Liberty to not let anyone else determine what I should want, how I should feel and what I should believe. Maybe some people won’t understand or agree, but I’m ok with that. I don’t want to follow, just to follow. I don’t want to be stagnant because it is easier. I don’t want to fall prey to mindless routine, fear of change or be pushed into being someone I’m not. I don’t want to lose sight of the moments, here and now, remembering the past and how it got me here, and looking forward to a future unknown. A good quote, “it is not the destination but the journey,” one I have lost sight of and I may do so again, but I will try to really live this. This year I have experienced and learned a lot about myself. I saw see things in a new light, about who I am, the life I live and the people in it. I realized that I don’t have to be chained down by definitions of who I am. I can change, and change can be good and bad, horrible and wonderful, but change is part of living. I was listening to something about breaking bad habits. When you do something again, your mind remembers the connections and when that situation comes up again, your mind wants to do it again, making it a habit. The more you do the habit the harder it can be to break it. If you want to break a bad habit such as not coming home and going straight to the fridge or the TV, then you must make the effort to break that one and start a new one. We are a creature of habit and this is who we are, but we determine what habits we have and how they effort us and sometimes we must stop and look upon ourselves and see if they are holding us back. I used to never cook and my mom used to tell people I was allergic to raw food. It may seem insignificant to start cooking, but me not knowing or wanting to cook was part of what defined me for so long. I have found that cooking for others and with others makes me happy. I lost a lot of who I was and rebuilding gives me a chance to go in new directions. I don’t want to be stuck in habits just because. I get annoyed when someone says they hate something or don’t want to try something because they think they will hate it. You can hate rapist, bigotry, cruelty, murder, etc. but for other things, why not be more open-minded, you never know. Even if the experience is crappy, maybe you will discover something new along the way. I say this, but doesn’t mean I always live this, but I am trying to be active in living it daily. And then there is Love. Receiving love and giving love are the pillars in life.  Don’t take love for granted, don’t assume it will always be there. You have to nurture and care for love. It amazes me that the older I get and the more I know about life and myself, the more I discover I don’t know anything. I try to reason out, try to find the answers, but so often I feel I am just fumbling around in the dark. So I will live, I will feel, I will let these precious moments send flairs in the darkness to light my way. I don’t know if I can live how I want to every day, every moment, but the pursuit of happiness is the driving force inside me. This, at least I know.

(That was a very long ramble and I will be surprised if anyone got through it all. It reminds me how it felt when I first started blogging, out of need and not necessarily want.)

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Words that turn me on and the Ampersand

Defenestration: the act of throwing someone or something out of a window

Melancholy: a deep, pensive, long-lasting sadness

Nefarious: wicked or criminal

Ninja: a member of the 4th-century Japanese mercenary agents who were trained in the martial arts and hired for covert operations like espionage, sabotage or assassinations

Omphaloskepsis: contemplation of or meditation upon one’s navel

Phantasmagoria: a sequence of real or imaginary images like that seen in a dream

Serendipity: fortuitous discoveries while looking for something unrelated

Sensual: pertaining to, inclined to, or preoccupied with the gratification of the senses or appetites; carnal; fleshly

Victory: act of defeating an enemy or opponent in a battle, game or competition

So, what words turn you on?

I painted three small canvases and glued them together and it now hangs on my wall. It was fun and simple. And yes, Ampersands are sexy and turn me on too.

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Defining Moments in Life

1. When a man with a red nose and painted face becomes something out of a nightmare.

2. Eating dessert first because life is too short.

3. When you come to understand you parents don’t know everything and “because we said so” won’t cut it.

4. When you look young enough to be carded.

5. When you look old enough to no longer be carded.

6. Laughing at my your joke, discovering no one else is laughing, but not caring anyway.

7. When lyrics like “she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts” on an album is somehow talented enough to win Album of the Year.

8. No longer having to go to a laundromat.

9. When someone asks you how old you are and you have to stop and think about it.

10. When you look forward to a quiet evening at home reading a good book.

11. Giving up on making new year’s resolution.

13. First speeding ticket. Promise to never speed again. Promise to think about never speeding again.

12. When being intelligent and unique becomes something coveted instead of something that is made fun of.

14. Being out of school long enough to miss it.

15. When you can laugh at yourself.

What were some of your defining moments in life?

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