Category Archives: Life

A real post, a glimpse into my life and a costume

Not counting the occasional song posting, which takes no effort, it has been quite some time since I’ve written on my blog.

Life has been on the move, a roller coaster ride, and I don’t know who’s running the controls. I’ve had highs that make me think I will eventually get everything I want and I’ve had lows that bring me to my knees, making me question everything I am and everything I do.

Life now? I paint, I dance, I travel when I can afford it, I spend time with friends. And I think… I think about moving out of state, I think about having kids, I think about my past and my future, I think about pain, passion, connection, letting go, I think about love.

I find life bitter AND sweet, but I am grateful. Grateful for everyone who loves me, supports me and believes in me. I am grateful that divorce did not crush my spirit and my hope. I am grateful that no matter how low I get, I find the strength to get back up, to see the beauty around me, to follow whatever path life takes me, even if it isn’t the one I planned for.

To end, I shall add two pictures. The first is a photo I took while in California a few months ago and the second is a photo of a costume I shall be wearing when I go back to California in a few weeks for Comic Con.



Vulnerability

Vulnerability can be… scary

Vulnerability can be… difficult

Vulnerability can be… disarming

We are a lonely lot, but we don’t have to be.

We want to connect with others, to have friends, to feel appreciated, to be loved. But first we must pull down those walls. The ones that protect us against disappointment, pain and rejection. It keeps us from being hurt because we know how it feels to be let down, left in the dark. But if we never let down our walls and be vulnerable, then we lose out on joy, laughter and love.


Measuring Happiness

Here are a few things that stood out to me from an article from the nytimes:

If the relationship between money and well-being is complicated, the correspondence between personal relationships and happiness is not. The daily activities most associated with happiness are sex, socializing after work and having dinner with others. The daily activity most injurious to happiness is commuting. According to one study, joining a group that meets even just once a month produces the same happiness gain as doubling your income.

In short, modern societies have developed vast institutions oriented around the things that are easy to count, not around the things that matter most. They have an affinity for material concerns and a primordial fear of moral and social ones.

Studies show that being married produces a psychic gain equivalent to more than $100,000 a year.

People don’t compartmentalize the major aspects of their life, they bleed together and effect each other. The things that can’t be counted in monetary value, like marriage, friendship, family, hobbies have a direct link to our happiness. Even though they may be hard to measure, those activities can enrich your life and mean more then the money in your pocket.

I find it very interesting how commuting is considered the most injurious activity. I just moved and reduced my commute from 1 hour to 1/2 hour. I used to deal with it by listening to my iPod  and yelling at the other drivers when they … cut me off, drive slow in the fast lane, have their brights on, don’t use their blinker, don’t know how to drive.

So would you agree money can’t necessarily give you happiness, but personal relationships and social activities can? Would you take a happy marriage with average or low pay over $100,000 a year and  a poor marriage? If you couldn’t have dinner with your best friends, would you get depressed? Are there little things in life that you may not think mean much, but if they disappeared would leave you feeling less? What little things in your life makes you happy?

To the little things in life…

  • Reading a good book
  • To an idea that gets fully realized on my canvas
  • Sushi
  • Concerts and Plays
  • Breakfast in bed
  • Making plans and everything goes smoothly
  • A great conversation
  • Football Sunday
  • Discovering a new blogger
  • Getting my back scratched
  • Finding a great pair of heels
  • Listening to the rain

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Rocking the 30s

So, I was telling a friend that I’m definitely over being in my 20s and freaking out about being in my 30s. Now that I’m in my 30s, I think I shall enjoy them quite a lot. This weekend will be another birthday for me, 31, to be exact. And in honor of my birthday, this post will be all about… me!

Now, 31 things about me. Oh no, that would either bore you or run you off! Instead 3 + 1 = 4.

4 things about me

1. I was adopted when I was 5 years old. I have no memories of my time before coming to the US.

2. My mother picked my birthday to be the same as her birthday, which is also the same as my grandmother’s birthday.

3. November is what it says on my birth certificate. A few years back I started celebrating that birthday too. Bonus!

4. Around the time I was in middle school, my family moved into a new house with beautiful beige carpeting. I had a room to my own and I was painting my nails, red polish of course, and that’s right… I spilled it on the carpet.

4 things on my ever continuous bucket list

1. Never stop creating art. Even if it stays forever a hobby.

2. Travel. On a boat, on a plane, on a train. To another city, another state, another country. I want to visit the Louvre, Giza Pyramids, Great Wall. And so much more!

3. To be open to new experiences and new friendships. To grow, to change, to live. To be that person I want to be.

4. Pursuing Happiness. Not money, not fame… just happiness.

4 things I want for my birthday

1. Red Heels. I have been thinking about getting a pair for a long time.

2. A Purse. Yes I have a few already, but they are just a bit larger then clutches and I need a bigger one. Besides, I want a new one!

3. Tattoo. Last year I was very serious about getting one, but never followed through to make a design. I’m working on the right design now and then I will get one.

4. Enjoy the time with my friends and family.

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Three things I don't want to lose

1. Hope

2. Love

3. Creativity

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1. My black boots (it will be a sad day when I have to get rid of them)

2. My taste buds (every comment I think of sounds dirty)

3. My height (I’m so short already, I don’t want to shrink!)

_____________________________________________________________

What would you hate to lose? (seriously or humorously or both)

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Defining Moments in Life

1. When a man with a red nose and painted face becomes something out of a nightmare.

2. Eating dessert first because life is too short.

3. When you come to understand you parents don’t know everything and “because we said so” won’t cut it.

4. When you look young enough to be carded.

5. When you look old enough to no longer be carded.

6. Laughing at my your joke, discovering no one else is laughing, but not caring anyway.

7. When lyrics like “she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts” on an album is somehow talented enough to win Album of the Year.

8. No longer having to go to a laundromat.

9. When someone asks you how old you are and you have to stop and think about it.

10. When you look forward to a quiet evening at home reading a good book.

11. Giving up on making new year’s resolution.

13. First speeding ticket. Promise to never speed again. Promise to think about never speeding again.

12. When being intelligent and unique becomes something coveted instead of something that is made fun of.

14. Being out of school long enough to miss it.

15. When you can laugh at yourself.

What were some of your defining moments in life?

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Patience

We get impatient. We expect things instantly. When we do not get what we want or expect, we get angry, agitated and violent.

Working retail allows me to see ill-tempered people regularly. I see people get frustrated when they have to wait an extra minute in line. I see people get angry when a mistake is made about an order or hold. I see people yell at the workers when they can’t get a table. Many times these situations leave everyone involved feeling bad.

Have a little patience.