In a mood

I can’t quite say what kind of mood I’m in. I deleted all my pictures, or at least most of them, from here and my facebook. I know the past doesn’t go away, I guess I just didn’t want to be reminded by having pictures of it. I’m trying my best to move on, but maybe I’m being childish because I’m angry and hurt.

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About Inner Love

I want: Passion. Desire. To create Cosmos. I want: Expression. Depth. Meaning. I want: Joy. Laughter. Love. I want: Life. View all posts by Inner Love

5 responses to “In a mood

  • somethingnewplease

    Funny how photos can be a leash of sorts from one milestone in life to the next. I always break the leash and delete all the photos I can on social internet sites and hard drives.

    Sometimes I hide a few, like a squirrel. In case winter is difficult.

    Take it easy,
    D

    • Suzanne

      I am not that strong, but I am trying very hard to break that leash. And while the winter here has been mild so far, I still feel the cold in my bones and I look forward to the Spring.

  • R. Palmer

    I’ve never sky dived. If I had though I would be glad to have a photograph of the moment. I wouldn’t delete it. Instead I would look upon it with a certain fondness. The act itself is moot, the point is after the adrenalin rush and numbing fear, eventually my feet hit the ground and I moved on. The fact that I can stand here today to share that snapshot of a moment of exhilaration in my life speaks to my character. I am alive and here is the proof. You jumped in feet first Suz, you braved it all and from that you’ve captured moments you will cherish. Maybe the pain is the result of watching the person you jumped with walk the other direction, or maybe you haven’t landed yet. I understand the amount of grief you’re going through, believe me I wish I did not. I lashed out deleted stuff and was mad at the world for a while. It didn’t change anything. She is still part of me and I carry that burden.

    • Suzanne

      There is truth to what you say, but I think it will take time before I can get past those feelings that I have now.

      • R. Palmer

        Time won’t help you, it can’t, you will experience the same feelings over and over again until you face them head on and master them.
        I don’t offer advice unless I feel like someone can really benefit from it. In this case I will throw in my two cents only because I’ve been the jilted one and I relate to how you feel.

        First, talk about it when its on your mind. If no one is around pick up the phone, if someone seems like they don’t want to listen to you find another ear to bend. It has been a while since I actually talked to you but from what I remember you clammed right up when you started feeling that grief. It might have just been you weren’t comfortable talking about it with me, do yourself a favor and find someone to talk to about it.

        Second, Forgive. Forgive yourself, him, and anyone else you think may have a hand in contributing to the painful feelings you’re experiencing.

        Third, don’t try to simply forget it. You won’t and you shouldn’t. This experience is part of you and it is an opportunity for you to grow. If you don’t take advantage of that you could find yourself back in the same place with someone different.

        I don’t have anything else to offer on the topic, it’s going to hurt as long as you decide to let it. You’re an impressive force in this world, worth a million of those other robots. I really want to see you get through this difficulty.

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