Breaking Point

When someone dies, it is tragic. All the possibilities vanish. Love, pain, happiness, failure, success, family, friendship; all these will disappear, or never even get a chance to come to pass. However, is suicide even more tragic because they willing took away those possibilities? That all they see is darkness and the only escape (freedom?) is death?

Why does one person break while another in a similar situation does not? Are they missing a vital trait: strength, perseverance, optimism, hope? Is it something that can be learned, to bend to the demands and hardship of life, to take the pain and agony and move on, to carry the sad, awful, heartbreaking moments and still have room for the good ones?

Everyone has been humiliated, hurt, pushed down. Do you take those moments and learn from them, grow from them, be a better person because of them?

As the saying goes: Life isn’t fair. Life doesn’t give us second chances, but the scars you carry, inside and out, don’t have to bleed continuously.

There is no national data, but I believe the statistic is 1 out of 4 people will attempt to commit suicide. That is a terribly sad statistic. Personally I have known several people who have tried, but thankfully were unsuccessful. Outsiders can look on and wonder why, they had smiles on their faces, they had friends, family, the future ahead of them. I don’t wonder.

I have seen and touched, NO, I have been fully immersed in my darkness and it is a painful and lonely place. I still carry things around with me that come upon me at random moments that dim the lights and cast shadows. It seems that sometimes I conjure up the shadows purposefully to hurt myself and take pleasure in this self inflicting pain. I stare out of myself and exam the failures and the missteps, ponder over the choices I’ve made. While I have dragged myself through the dirt, I kept going. I kept reaching out… I keep reaching out… for love, for peace of mind, for forgiveness, for hope. I have changed, more inside than out, but change was needed. It was vital to moving forward and living my life.

Life is a beautiful struggle. It is a choice to live and that means to take it all or nothing.

Add to FacebookAdd to DiggAdd to Del.icio.usAdd to StumbleuponAdd to RedditAdd to BlinklistAdd to TwitterAdd to TechnoratiAdd to Yahoo BuzzAdd to Newsvine


About Inner Love

I want: Passion. Desire. To create Cosmos. I want: Expression. Depth. Meaning. I want: Joy. Laughter. Love. I want: Life. View all posts by Inner Love

7 responses to “Breaking Point

  • Jacky Cheng

    those are some questions i don’t think i’ll ever find an answer to. whenever i’m down on myself, i tell myself that there are worst things out in the world, and whenever someone else is feeling depressed, i quietly mutter to myself “but there are people with worse lives than the one you’re in.” perhaps, those who do lean toward suicide forget about others’ perspectives, even if for just a second.

    this was a very thoughtful post, and certainly realizes the uncertainly of everyone. you’re a great writer, and i’ll certainly be back for more 🙂

    • suzanneme

      Oh yes, I thought the same thing. When I was at a low I decided to read My Sister’s Keeper (I did not see the movie, usually the books are way better then the movie anyway). I made a post about the book and why I read it when I did. To sum it up: it forced to think about how much harder other lives are and I was grateful. Grateful for having a job, a car, my family, a few friends who I could count on. I was grateful for feeling, for a future, for keeping my hope.

  • Victor

    That 1 out of 4 statistic seems amazingly high. I hope, for mankind’s sake, that it is not that high!

    • suzanneme

      It does seem high, but there are probably many that never “report” an attempted suicide to accurately make a statistic. But I think about how many people I know personal, and it seems like it could very well be correct.

      Thanks for replying.

  • sparrow

    You write beautifully.

    Thank you for your comment on my blog. It’s nice to know that someone is actually there 🙂

    Reading your blog is almost like reading my own thoughts, only prettier.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: