I took a walk. The air was cool and crisp and the wind would come by every so often to whip my hair and my robe around me. It is 3 am and I am still awake. I am awake, not because I am with friends, not because I am reading or painting, not because I am making love, no, because sleep won’t take me. Sleep used to be constant, reliable friend. It is 3 am and I am eating. I am upset and I am eating. Those two rarely play together. Not a normal night. But what is normal? This year has not been normal. This year has been brutal and cruel. It has knocked me down and dragged me through the dirt. Here I am, so tired, but sleep won’t take me. When I do fall asleep, will you be there? Here I am, in pain and heartbroken and I still want you. You make me a liar. I said I would never look back and here I am facing you.
May 19, 2009