Outside, Inside

Outside: I smile, I laugh, I connect, I sympathize, I try new things, I paint, I look for love, I joke, I am grateful, I move on.

Inside: I cry, I get angry, I hate, I turn away, I feel worthless, I get emotional, I close down, I stop. 

Yesterday I helped an older man at work who told me that if people were nice and smiled like I did, all the time, the world would be a much better place. It surprises me how one comment from a total stranger can touch me and make me feel like maybe tomorrow(in the general sense) will be a better day.

Sometimes I feel like I am just passing through this life and my impact is unsubstantial. Sometimes it takes effort to get up and face the world when I feel so sad and lost inside. Sometimes it feels like the only road I ever traveled on suddenly disappeared and I was left behind in the darkness.

And sometimes I see that I have so much inside me to give. That I have so much in my life that is meaningful and worthy. That through experiencing life, the good and the bad, I have more to offer others and to myself. On these days the sun comes out and I see myself with someone I love, with a family of my own, with friends who are dear to me. On these days, all roads open up in front of me.


About Inner Love

I want: Passion. Desire. To create Cosmos. I want: Expression. Depth. Meaning. I want: Joy. Laughter. Love. I want: Life. View all posts by Inner Love

5 responses to “Outside, Inside

  • annex50

    I say that you have to realize that your way of interpreting events is what determines your outlook. If your car were to break down tomorrow morning, would you immediately look at that event or have you in the past looked at that to signal that your day was going to be horrible? We assign additional meanings to events that take place in our lives. The event itself should draw it’s own meaning but why add to it? Adding sadness or additional blocks that stand in our way only makes it harder to realize that we are still the same person that existed before the event took place. The only difference between us and the event is that the event happened and our interpretation of it. We always can be a catalyst for change because we are always who we are. You only have to appreciate what you have to offer as a human being and give someone else your words or actions and expect it to inspire someone. Someone is always listening, watching, and feeling what you do.

  • suzanneme

    We are not talking about a car breaking down. All moments in our past, large and small, effect who we are and who we become by how we let it effect us. Pain, sadness, loss, loneliness, hatred are real feelings and also shape a person as much as love, happiness, joy, peace, contentment. These feelings aren’t “added” because I’m trying to burden myself, they are what happens in dealing with life. A person is not just joy. A person is not just hate. They are a jumble of thoughts, emotions, actions, dreams, failures. I change because I have to, but if I fight it or run with it only makes me more of me. I don’t keep going to inspire someone else or expect anyone else to hear me, but to realize that my life is worth living because I believe it to be.

  • annex50

    I am a supporter and I am listening! I was just trying to say that events in our past may have made us feel a certain way and may have shaped some of our thoughts throughout time but it doesn’t have to enslave us if we don’t want it to. It really is our decision as to how much our past affects us today. If we let the past continue to drag us down then we are adding something to it that goes beyond the actual event itself. Hence, the car breaking down example. It may make you mad at the moment and cause you to miss work or whatever but it doesn’t have to ruin your day or beyond. I was trying to relate that to what we tend to do in attributing the past to our current set of circumstances. Anyway, it’s good to talk to you. 🙂

  • Robin

    I had a blog once, I wish I had left it sit now but for some reason I deleted it. Maybe for the shame that I hadn’t updated it as much as I had planned on. Once a day turned into once a week then once a month… well lets just say I was becoming very efficient at my blogging.

    Anyway wanted to share a little bit of that. I did save it somewhere must have been just so I could be reminded of this (poem) by you and put it here.


    The sun came out today,
    to wake me from this sleep.
    I felt its warmth below me,
    above me, all around me.
    This energy, this warmth I felt,
    it ran quite deep.
    It touched me,
    inspiring me to a degree.

    At the height of its path through my day,
    its beams touched my lips in such a way
    that filled me with joy, in that moment of mine;
    Joy that I’m alive, a feeling so sublime.

    toward the close of day I stood on the shore
    watching the horizon, and birds as they soared
    knowing soon my friend would leave my sight
    taking in the last of its comforting warmth
    appreciating its divine beauty
    turning away into the night
    awaiting a new day.


  • suzanneme

    Robin, thank you for sharing the poem.

    Kevin, we should get together and catch up on lighter, happier topics.

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